


Simple Twist of Fate

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2434721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula





	1. Chapter 1

Kazunari smirked at Midorima’s constipated expression that he always wore when he wanted to explode but considered it too undignified.

“Please, put it  _down,_ ” he gritted out.

Takao whistled. “Shin-chan saying please? What a time to be alive~!”

“I’m not joking, Takao. Put. It. Down.”

Midorima’s face was red from anger but Kazunari paid it no mind. Shin-chan deserved punishment for what he did, and his passionate reaction proved that Takao knew where to hit for it to hurt the most. He watched Midorima squirm, unsure what to do, probably considering pouncing and overpowering him. Kazunari would like that, make no mistake, but he also knew it wasn’t going to happen; too much risk.

Takao tightened his hold on the scissors, remembering the story of what Akashi Seijuro did with them the last time. Shin-chan swallowed, his eyes moving frantically from Kazunari’s face to his hand. Takao smirked again, lifting his chin.

“Will you also say sorry, Shin-chan?” he teased mercilessly.

Midorima huffed. “In your dreams. I did nothing wrong.”

Kazunari would beg to differ, so he pouted theatrically and sighed. “Wrong answer, Shin-chan.”

He lifted the scissors and watched Midorima flinch, his fingers balling into fists at his sides. Then, ignoring Shin-chan’s warning, Takao lifted the plush toy that served as that day’s lucky item and unceremoniously cut off its head, cackling gleefully as Midorima charged at him with a furious cry. 


	2. Chapter 2

Shin-chan often looked smug, but mostly on the court, sometimes after a test, rarely in their art class. Shin-chan was many things, but a talented artist wasn’t one of them, and it took no critic to establish that much. Even Shin-chan was always visibly displeased with the results of his efforts in that field.

So of course Takao got curious when Shin-chan eyed his latest painting with pride, barely hiding a satisfied smirk. He sauntered over to him to look at the work himself and his jaw dropped as soon as he laid his eyes upon it.

“That’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, ignoring Shin-chan’s offended gasp. “I’m gonna be sick. What even  _is_  that?”

He turned his head to Shin-chan in order to explain to him in great detail that this particular painting was not supposed to be a source of pride. That’s what friends did – they were honest with each other and saved each other from themselves.

“Shin-chan, I’m not joking. Burn it. Burn it before the teacher sees that. But please, explain, what the hell is this supposed to be?”

Shin-chan gripped his brush so tightly his knuckles went white and he mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

Shin-chan turned to face him, blushing furiously to the roots of his hair. “You.”

Takao blinked slowly, processed Shin-chan’s answer, watched Shin-chan’s cheeks grow even hotter – if it was even possible – and then, finally, he doubled over with laughter, falling down on his ass and ending up covered in paint, scolded profusely by the teacher.

So worth it, though. 


	3. Chapter 3

Takao tensed at the sound of the hysterical laughter, and turned to the side stiffly, barely hiding his grimace. The guy sitting on his left was red from choking, and Kazunari felt his cheeks mirror the color.

“Why are you wearing that?!” the classmate managed, covering his mouth with both hands.

Takao scowled. Well, sure, it was rather unprecedented, but was such an embellished reaction really necessary? It was just a scarf. A very ugly scarf, yeah. And it was the middle of summer, true. But it was  _just_  a scarf. Takao could hear Shin-chan clear his throat behind him and gritted his teeth, barely stopping himself from turning around and lunging at Shin-chan with the intent to kill.

The more students filled the classroom, the more curious murmurs Kazunari heard, and he knew he had no choice – he had to lie. All he had was his reputation and he simply had to uphold it. He needed to come up with a very good excuse too, something that would allow him to save face and let him off the hook permanently. A fresh tattoo, perhaps? No, he would have to get an actual tattoo later…

“Is this what I think it is~?”

Takao blinked, unsure what another of his classmates meant, but took his chance and waited for her to elaborate. He pretended to shrug her off, ignore her teasing question, and get back to his business, which, predictably, made her laugh gleefully.

“I  _knew_  it! Takao-kun is hiding a hickey~!”

That certainly elicited a variety of reactions – jealousy, admiration, disappointment, outrage even. But it was truly  _brilliant;_ Kazunari had to remember to buy that girl lunch one of these days. The arrival of the teacher saved him from further explanations and the matter was relatively forgotten by the end of the day.

“That was cowardly, Takao,” decided Shin-chan on their way to practice.

Takao barked out a laugh. “ _Cowardly?_  You expected me to tell them the truth?! You may not care if everyone thinks you’re a freak, but I do. Thanks again for all this, by the way, Shin-chan.”

Midorima clicked his tongue distastefully and fixed his glasses ostentatiously. “I was only doing what’s best for both of us.”

“Best?!” screeched Takao, disbelieving. “You refused to speak to me and threatened to skip practice if I didn’t wear the ugliest scarf in the world just because your stupid Oha-Asa said I was too unlucky to be around today! Screw you, Shin-chan!”

“I won’t apologize, Takao,” said Midorima sternly, stopping in his tracks. “And I certainly won’t congratulate you on your feeble lie. It was impractical. You have to acquire a bruise on your neck now, since I don’t believe they fade that quickly. Unless, of course, you want to wear the scarf tomorrow as well.”

Takao smirked wryly, jabbing Midorima’s shoulder with his finger. “Then you’d better work hard on that tonight, Shin-chan~”

The angry blush appearing on Midorima’s face as he stormed off to the club room wasn’t exactly the revenge Kazunari wanted, but it was still quite satisfying.


	4. Chapter 4

Takao narrowed his eyes suspiciously when he saw Shin-chan walk out of the house. He rarely saw him in casual clothes but there was something additionally off about him, and Kazunari couldn’t determine what it was until Shin-chan came closer.

“Is that my shirt?!” he screeched, mortified.

Midorima scoffed. “Good to know your eyesight is as keen during the weekends. I don’t see a problem, Takao. Isn’t it a common practice?  _You_  do it.”

“What, wear your clothes? Because I can pull it off! I look  _cute_  in big t-shirts. You, you just look ridiculous. It’s all… snug and… suffocating! How do you breathe in it?”

Midorima hummed noncommittally when Kazunari cringed, making vague hand gestures, pointing to all the muscles that were usually well-hid under button-ups and ugly vests. Takao could say a lot about Shin-chan’s weird head, but from the neck down he did look like a basketball player and it strangely annoyed him that people would actually see it. Not out of jealousy,  _obviously_  – it’s just that Shin-chan’s already swollen ego didn’t need the dreamy sighs they were bound to hear today.

To comfort himself, Kazunari decided to resort to merciless teasing. “What is it? Today’s lucky item is something borrowed from the  _loved_  one~? Couldn’t you’ve taken something of your grandpa’s in that case? At least you wouldn’t stand out.”

Midorima fixed his glasses reflexively and Takao was momentarily distracted by the ripple of his muscles when he lifted his arm. In order to calm himself, he immediately focused on Shin-chan’s scowling, less-than-inviting face, but it didn’t help much. All this was still absolutely outrageous and Kazunari would have to burn this stupid ugly shirt as soon as possible.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Takao,” said Midorima finally. “It’s something borrowed, period. I wouldn’t have used  _your_  clothes otherwise, you’re just a-”

Takao jabbed Midorima in the chest and smiled sweetly, dangerously. “Call me a servant, Shin-chan, and you can forget about certain  _services_  forever~”

Pleased with the flush crawling to Shin-chan’s cheeks, and with the way he cleared his throat awkwardly, Takao grinned to himself and motioned with his finger for Midorima to bend down. Blush deepening, Shin-chan obeyed after cautiously looking around, because he wasn’t nearly as oblivious to Kazunari’s intentions as he usually pretended to be. The kiss was a bit stiff but it was  _nice_ and oh-so-very-Shin-chan, which was the way Takao liked it, and he smiled into it nonetheless.

“So, are you gonna tell me,” he drawled as he pulled away, “or should I check Oha-Asa myself?”

Midorima scoffed and shoved lightly at Kazunari. “Do what you want. But don’t think it has anything to do with our arrangement.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me, Shin-chan,” droned Takao, tapping at his phone. “It’s called a relationship. And according to Oha-Asa…”

Kazunari cut himself off, starting disbelievingly at the horoscope. He chanced a glance at Shin-chan, who was staring pointedly at the ground, completely red in the face, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Normally, Takao would have joked about it, because it was sappy and naive, but it also made heat pool in his stomach. He put the phone back in his pocket and grinned at Shin-chan, his eyes crinkling.

“And according to Oha-Asa, it makes you very happy~” he teased without malice.

Midorima frowned at the distinct lack of the venom, and looked at Kazunari questioningly. Takao laughed and put his hands behind his head, winking at Shin-chan, which only caused his frown to deepen.

“That’s good, Shin-chan,” he said lightly. “I’d be mad if all my efforts were wasted, you know. Making you happy is a very hard job, very hard indeed. You should appreciate me more! So how about you show your gratitude by letting me ride in the back of the rickshaw today?”

Midorima snorted without hesitation. “That was not our agreement, Takao. We’re playing jan-ken-pon.”

Takao sighed deeply and shook his head, surprised at himself for even entertaining the thought of Shin-chan ever cutting him some slack, ever. But when he miraculously won the round and Shin-chan mounted the bike without a fuss, it took Kazunari a moment to pick his jaw off the ground. 


	5. Chapter 5

Takao was so unbelievably incredibly amazingly screwed. They had a big deadline coming up at work and he couldn’t even remember how many hours he’s slept this week; eight maybe ten in total? He completely forgot about his niece’s birthday party and if his sister hadn’t called him half an hour ago he’d probably still be sleeping off the entire week.

He was probably going to make it if he hurried but he didn’t even have a present! Obviously, he’d make up for it another day but showing up empty handed wasn’t an option – his sister was one of those sisters who bullied their little brothers until they were both gray and saggy and she had the meanest punch to go with her bad temper.

He barged into the store by the gas station, hoping to at least grab a box of chocolate, when he noticed a bunch of giant balloons by the register. Thankfully, he had always had a crazy good eyesight, and he immediately spotted the one shaped like a cat’s head. He nearly squealed in delight because his niece loved cats more than anything.

Tears in his eyes, he leapt across the store, his hand reaching for the right string, except what it actually grabbed was another hand. Startled, he looked up, but didn’t let go, afraid the balloon would get snatched. He sighed out in relief when he saw a full grown man in glasses looking at him quizzically. He was afraid he’d have to fight a child, but it was only a freakishly huge dude with an offensive haircut.

“Sorry, buddy,” he said, smiling. “But I really need this balloon, so mind letting it go?”

The man scoffed. “I need it more than you do.”

“Trust me, you don’t,” replied Takao, sighing.

He tugged at the string with his other hand, but the man didn’t let go. Takao sighed again, rubbing his temple; he really didn’t have time for this. The man was staring at him with an unreadable expression, blinking slowly. Takao noticed him tightening his hold on the string as he narrowed his eyes dangerously. Clicking his tongue, Takao shifted to get into the guy’s personal space and jabbed his finger into the broad chest in front of him.

“Look, man, I have literally twenty minutes to get across town for my niece’s birthday party and I don’t have a present. If she’s anything like her mother she will kick the shit out of me if she doesn’t like what I bring and the only thing I know for sure she won’t hate is something fucking cat-shaped!”

He was panting by the time he finished his little rant and only then did he realize how pathetic he sounded. The guy didn’t seem amused, but then again Takao hadn’t notice particular expressiveness so far, so he might as well be have been howling inside – Taka did just admit to being scared of getting beaten up by a six-year-old.

“Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?” he whined. “I’m not actually afraid of my niece, okay? It’s her  _mother_  that scares me. Ugh, wait, no, can we pretend I didn’t say that either? God, I’m fucking tired. I’m tired and I’m gonna kill myself if I get there and there won’t be any alcohol. Why the hell can’t I stop talking, oh my god… Anyway, I’m  _clearly_  having a breakdown, what’s your excuse?!”

The man shrugged. “It’s my lucky item.”

It was Takao’s turn to blink and stare incredulously. Did he hear that right? A goddamn  _lucky item?!_   Takao’s very life was on the line and the guy was willing to risk it for  _luck?!_  He gritted his teeth, tugging at the string with all his strength, ready to knee the dude in the balls if he resisted any longer.

“Let go. You’re a weirdo. I understand that with a face like that luck is all you have but my face isn’t going to get bashed in today, do you understand? Let. Go. Find a balloon somewhere else, I don’t have time!”

The guy huffed in irritation, his cheeks slightly red. “It’s your own fault for not buying a present earlier, fool. And what makes you think _I_  won’t punch you in the face for insulting mine?”

Takao instantly stopped struggling. The guy did have a point, and while Takao was no weakling, his newfound nemesis did look like he could do some serious damage. Now that Takao thought about it, the man even had his fingers taped, so maybe he was a yakuza hitman or something? Takao wanted to weep, his grip on the string faltering.

“I won’t,” clarified the guy before Takao could fully give in to panic. “My fingers are far too precious to me. But I won’t let of that balloon, either. I’m willing to pay you for letting go, though. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve spent an excessive amount of money on a lucky item. As you can imagine, some are very hard to come by. What’s your prize?”

Takao’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’ll really do anything for it, huh? How does that work, even?”

“I thought you didn’t have time,” said the man, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Fuck, I’m late to the party!” shouted Takao, slapping his forehead. The impact must have unlocked something in his brain, because he suddenly got the craziest, most brilliant idea ever. He let go of the string and grabbed the man’s shoulders, grinning like a maniac. “But how  _does_  it work? Do you have to hold it all the time? Or do you just have to be near it? How busy are you today?”

The man frowned, pushing Takao off. “I don’t have plans, but what does it have to do with anything?”

“Come with me to the party! You won’t need the balloon tomorrow, right?! Let me buy it and come with me! You get to be near the lucky item until the evening, I get to have children someday because my sister won’t rip my balls out, it’s a win-win! Please, I beg you! Spend this one day with me, and I’ll be your slave for a week!”

Takao knew how desperate he was acting but it didn’t seem to matter, since the guy was clearly considering his offer. He scowled, shifting his gaze from the balloon to Takao, and finally nodded.

“It’s true I don’t need to have physical contact with the lucky item of this size. However, I must know your zodiac sign before accepting the deal. It would be ideal if you were a Scorpio or a Pisces. But if you are either a Gemini or, God forbid, an Aquarius-”

Takao tuned out the guy and swiftly paid for the balloon. The guy was still babbling about zodiac signs when Takao turned around and grabbed his face in both his hands. He planted a big wet kiss on his mouth and pulled away with an obnoxious smack. He grinned at the guy’s stunned and outraged expression and patted one of his hot cheeks.

“Great! I’m a Scorpio. Now let’s go, we’re late!”


	6. Chapter 6

Kazunari was going to piss himself. When Mrs. Midorima came to the room to announce that Kuroko was waiting downstairs, Shin-chan instantly paled, gaping helplessly at Takao. Kazunari was conflicted; should he stay and witness the greatest disaster of his adolescent life or leave Midorima to his doom and relish the satisfaction it would give him? Admittedly, a lot depended on Shin-chan’s wish – if he wanted Takao to go, he’d have to forcefully drag him out.

“Please stay,” stammered Midorima. “You can’t leave me alone with him. Cancers rank tenth today while that bastard ranks second.”

Takao knew that, obviously. Only Scorpios were in bigger luck today, which made perfect sense given the circumstances, so Kazunari was probably going to have incredible fun if he stayed. Still, it’d be a waste to just agree, wouldn’t it? After all, despite Shin-chan’s constant warnings, Takao was all about pushing his luck.

“Sorry, Shin-chan,” he drawled, faking a yawn. “But I’m dead tired. I wanna go to sleep early.”

“You can sleep here! There’s no school tomorrow!”

Kazunari pretended to consider, barely containing laughter. “Nah, I’m gonna pass. You know how I hate sleeping on the floor. I wake up all cranky~”

“Fine,” seethed Midorima. “You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor. Just don’t leave.”

Takao hummed. He could hear footsteps on the stairs, which made Shin-chan visibly nervous, even more than he was already. Kazunari should probably count his blessings and take the deal, but he was having entirely too much fun. Besides, he was feeling very lucky at the moment.

“I suppose that could work… But there’s no place like home, after all. Everything hurts when I don’t sleep in my bed and it’s hell to drive the rickshaw… Sorry, Shin-chan. I’m sure you’ll be fine, though~!”

Midorima gritted his teeth, glaring at Takao as he started slowly gathering his things. “Fine, I’ll drive it. So stay.”

"Oh, Shin-chan, how much I would like to believe you~"

Shin-chan huffed in irritation, grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. Kazunari raised an eyebrow, watching Midorima scribble furiously before handing the paper to Takao. The note said that Shin-chan solemnly swore to drive the rickshaw for a week; it was signed and everything. Kazunari grinned lazily and Midorima fumed, completely red in the face.

“Okay, Shin-chan, you’ve got yourself a deal~”

Midorima sighed in relief at the exact same moment the door to his room opened. Instead of Kuroko, like they were expecting, Shin-chan’s mother came in and handed her son a book. Takao tilted his head in confusion, looking at Mrs. Midorima questioningly. The woman smiled dreamily, propping her chin on her hand.

“He said he didn’t want to be bother. Such a nice boy, that Kuroko-kun. I wish you spent more time with him, Shintaro. Maybe you’d learn some manners.”

With that, she left, and as soon as the door closed behind her, Takao burst into laughter, rolling around the bed while clutching at his stomach. Midorima was staring at the book in his hands, his eyes alarmingly empty. Wiping his tears, Takao stood up to pat Shin-chan on the back comfortingly.

“I guess you’re not as unlucky as you thought, Shin-chan,” he teased, ostentatiously fanning himself with the agreement that Midorima had signed earlier.

Shin-chan only growled before lunging at Takao in attempt to get the piece of paper back. 


End file.
